Category Archives: FMRPG

Episode 33 – “Fresh” Takes – Sharp Swords & Sinister Spells

Happy New Year Muthaphuckaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhsss!!!

Well, 2016 has been a long and bloody one but we manged to end it on a high note, reviewing Diogo Nogueria’s Sharp Swords & Sinister Spells available from Drive Thru RPG. We get salty about Vampire – the Giovanni Chronicles, Warhammer 40k and Star Wars: Rogue One and Full Metal Ben and Shadowsworn Adam deal out some very “fresh” takes.

Giovanni Chronicles begins again!

This will mark the second time I have played in Giovanni Chronicles. The first was one of the finest games I have ever played in and spawned my favorite character that I have ever had the opportunity to play in Enescu.

I will introduce you into the character I have created for the new game. Much like the previous Giovanni Chronicles, we have made human characters with no knowledge of what, if any, clan we would become. Without further ado, I give you Zalam!

Born as a by product of rape from a crusader and a muslim girl, Ibrahim Damascus was orphaned from birth.  Given his name by the Islamic orphanage that took him in Damascus, Syria, he grew up learning the lessons that those without power frequently learn in the most dire of situations. He was a constant victim of abuse (sexual, emotional, and physical) and racism stemming from his mixed heritage.  He was one of many such youngsters used by a corrupt head of the orphanage for various criminal acts, both committed by the children and to the children.

At the age of 11, in an instant of clarity and rage, Ibrahim stuck back against one of those who abused him, a patron of the orphanage’s “services”,  with a dull kitchen knife.  He fled the orphanage and entered the street.  At first, he struggled to survive. But gradually, his ruthlessness began to frighten those around him and he managed to carve out an existence.  By the age of fifteen, he was a hardened thug who had began to learn a criminal trade beyond thievery and murder. A quick study, he began to understand the underground world of organized crime.

But Ibrahim had not forgotten the circumstances of his youth. He was still tormented by nightmares of his past. In what ended up becoming known as a night of infamy, he snuck back into the orphanage and proceeded to silently murder the head of the orphanage.  The head’s body was discovered the morning after, tortured almost beyond recognition and various blasphemies carved into the dead flesh. For Ibrahim, that night was a transformative one. He entered the orphanage Ibrahim, the tortured young lad. He exited Zalam, birthed in the rage and pain and darkness. This transformation was more than just a change in name. For Zalam, it marked the entrance into a new world, the occult.

After the orphanage, his ties to Damascus were no more. He decided to head east and carve out a new life. He ended up in Budapest by the age of twenty. An intelligent and capable criminal, he quickly worked his way up the criminal food chain in Budapest. He now controls a large portion of the Opium in the city along with maintaining various opium dens. But Zalam had not forgotten that feeling that was with him on his night of revenge. He began to study any and all occultism around death.

Zalam also began taking opium in the desire to expand his consciousness. Further, he began to experiment with all the ready subjects around him. It did not matter if it was a ruthless gang killing or a quiet overdose in an opium den, Zalam would use those chances to attempt to connect with the feeling he had all those years ago. He is convinced that there in lies a secret to a transformation more powerful than any and all the benefits touted by any of the fake religions around him.

Description:  Zalam stands a few inches shy of 6 feet. His face has been pocked with any and all conditions that stemmed from extreme poverty.  He also has  a jagged scar that runs from his temple to his chin. This scar matches plenty of others that lie on his body. He seems raggedly thin, but upon closer inspection his body is a lot of lean muscle. The most unsettling thing about his appearance is his gaze. He does not view others as anything other than a commodity or a chance at enlightenment. His cold, blue eyes reflect that on a subconscious level. It is all to common to see a person shiver after they meet his gaze.


Oh, it is the most joyous of days! In this episode Brendan and Ben are joined by the third member of the Forsaken Triumvirate, Shadowsworn Adam to celebrate the birthday of the podcast you love to hate, FULL METAL RPG. We drink bubbly, we blow out candles, we recount what is best in life and what is worst. Mostly we just blather incoherently about games, but after a year… it’s what you’ve come to expect! Join us in our celebration! LISTEN NOW!

Art by Rich Nerdgore. Music by Legion and Andrew W.K.

Episode 31 – Fair Game

Well here we are once again witches and wolves! In Episode 31 of FMRPG that scurrilous bastard Ben peaces out on Brendan and gaming mastermind Jim Miller gets called in as a hired gun to help keep things in order. This week the Full Metal crew is joined by the homies Richard and Darryl of the Wrecking Crew and Podcast: the Wreckening. They talk about all manners of gaming and then there’s some talk about gaming cons, especially the upcoming Arizona Game Fair. Listen in and let us know how you like the show! Thanks for tuning in cultists!

We got art my Rich Nerdgore, Music by Legion, Wolves in the Throne room and Sepultura! Get at it!

I missed my chance. . .

Shadowsworn Adam has been narrating our crazy adventures in the post apocalyptic land of metro Phoenix. The game is gonzo and insane. Like anything goes insane. I’m not going to waste your time and mine providing a recap that Adam has already done. Instead, I’m going to lament my missed opportunity.

First, don’t misunderstand. I like Sports Authority. The character is crazy and outlandish and fits perfectly with the setting. But after last session, it occurs to me that I missed a golden opportunity. During our last session, we spoke to a nerd that had survived the apocalypse and had assumed the identity of Aragorn.

Honestly, this blew my mind. I realized I had missed a golden opportunity. And do you know what that opportunity was? I could have played as Elric! That’s right, the White Wolf of Melnibone. Sure, maybe he’s just a mutant from our earth that has assumed (intentionally or otherwise) that fictional identity. Or maybe he’s a creation of the infinity earths that had created the singular event that caused the apocalypse. Either way, I missed the opportunity.

I could have been carrying a singing black sword that acted on its own (psychic powers from being a mutant easily translate to witchcraft thematically if I want it to). I could have been an albino at the end of time. Mistake noted. If Sports Authority dies, I know what I’m going to play next.

Episode 30 – Mailbag Dos: Last Train to Hell

Well amigo, the hour is nigh. You can only outrun the law for so long and then they put a silver bullet, dipped in holy water right between your fuckin’ shoulders. Now I hear that forlorn cry in the distance compadre, the sound of that one way ticket to Hell come to carry me away. I guess I’ll lay here in the dirt, waiting for El Diablo Maior to come carry me away, and you can read me this here letter from my dear ol’ paw back east. He knew I’d never make nuthin’ of myself. I never was very booksmart. Now, I’ll answer whatever he asks, but you gotta get word back to him ya hear? Is is a deal amigo? *cough cough*

In this SUPER LONG episode Brendan and Ben are met at the creepy crossroads of fate by the Grim Reaper himself taking a stroll with the Warlord Amanda. We get to talkin’ about our takes on some queries put to us by devoted listeners. We hope you’ll take a listen and walk with us for a while.

Art by Rich Nerdgore, music by Legion, Slayer and Ghost.

Episode 29 – A Small Padded Cell with Jim Miller

You thought you could lock the crazy IN, didn’t you, you naive fucks. But did you ever think about locking the crazy OUT? I didn’t think so. So here we are on Saturday night clutching our proverbial nuts and gritting our teeth through the electroshock therapy. Well guess what! It’s a new Episode! Jim Miller is back! Listen in on our lunatic ravings! Music by Legion, Ghost, and the Bay City Rollers

Episode 28 – Beneath – The Inverted Church Kickstarter Review

In this episode Brendan and Ben keep it short and sweet with an in depth discussion of what’s new with gaming followed by a review of Justin Sirois’ Beneath: The Inverted Church currently gathering pledges on Kickstarter. And homie, let me tell you, it’s a doozey! So check out the episode and consider hitting up Kickstarter and maybe grabbing yourself a copy. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll barf up chunks. Is this Wayne’s World? Did you read to the bottom? Congratulations! No listen to the episode.

Music by Legion and a couple tracks from the latest Ghost album. Enjoy, striplings!

Episode 27 – GMing Stylez of the Lich and Slaymous

Hail! Blasphemers! Brendan and Ben just returned from the long month of August, where they spend the final weeks deep in the bowels of the Shadow Fathoms eating psychotropic myconid children and tripping balls super hard with the dark elf shadowmancer Dripztt and Raistlington the dwarven mega-wizard. When they returned they found a raven had brought word from Archlictor Miseophant in California seeking some blackened homilies on the craft of gaming. So they rounded up that fucker Shadowsworn Adam from the slave galley he was pirating and summoned The Mysterious Jeff from the Cthonous Depths and here you have it bitches, four dudes talking about how they think it should be done.

Gen Con Blues

Everyone is at Gen Con checking out what’s the haps for the next year of gaming and I’m just sitting here looking at my Instagram feed like:

Have fun at Gen Con foolios. Have some great games and come back and tell us everything. Grab some of that LE swag for your homies at FMRPG, the DM says you’ll get extra XP for it.